it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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