Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
