How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
