I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
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He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
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Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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