margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
