over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
