I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
