so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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