it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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