He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
