my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
