K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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