I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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