David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
