No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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