real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
