thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
