Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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