Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
