I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
