...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
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