To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
