Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
