i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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