you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Text me some of your sweat
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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