I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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