Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
