I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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