apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
