yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
