I will die if light touches me.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
