I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
