Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Boobs are out for the taking
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
