do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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