doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Come on in and take your pants off
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