Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
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So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize