I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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