I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
this hospital has no fireball
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
