just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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