hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
