32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
