I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
