What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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