As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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