i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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