My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
