You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
