Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
