ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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