Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
