Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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