Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
