I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize