I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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