I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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