she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
