carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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