Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
