He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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