whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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