i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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