How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
