Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize