Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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